Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Proof that Raising Twins is as Hard as Training for the Winter Olympics. Sort of.

I have verifiable proof that raising twins is just as hard as training for the winter Olympics. My health insurance carrier told me so in this short informative video:

Did you catch the "these are really hard things" montage? I, of course, zoned right in on this all too familiar image:

Not only are they twins, they are b/g twins!!!!

Raising twins is also as hard as these things:

Riding a bucking horse
Surfing a 10-foot wave (Is a 10-foot wave considered high in the surfing world? I want to make this sound REALLY hard.)
Riding a tiny car thing on a dirt road
Olympic skiing

I know raising twins is as hard as these things because they were all in the SAME montage. And ExcellusBlue, which just so happens to be our healthcare provider, is an honest establishment that only feeds the public the TRUTH.

Today was hard. Today, the twins unpotted a plant and made sure the dirt got really ground into the rug. They dumped a box of cheerios all over the floor and shrieked when I swept the cheerios up because they were, um, eating them. As I made lunch, they pulled all the books within their reach off the bookshelf. One of them tore a page out of C.S. Lewis' The Problem of Pain. Each blamed the other, probably because they understand too well the contents of that particular book.

I took them outside. They spilled bubbles all over their clothes and then rolled in dirt. They fought over a Cozy Coupe, even though I bought TWO Cozy Coupes to avoid this very problem. Ella threw sand and got some in Daniel's eye. Daniel retaliated by hitting Ella atop the head with a sand rake.


Daniel, who was a very dirty little boy by the end of the day, announced he was yucky yucky yucky and requested a bath. Ella was playing happily and quietly in the sandbox, so I brought Daniel inside to give him a thorough washing. (To clarify- John was home at this point and in the back WITH Ella, lest you think I left her alone in the yard to fend for herself against the rabid bunnies and red ants. The wheels in your head are turning. Though it may appear I'm negligent in my parental duties due to the shenanigans my children get into, I assure you I am a capable mother! Generally speaking! I admit that today was a doozie. Days like this, thank God, don't come along very often.)

Back to our regular scheduled program. Daniel was about to get in the tub.

He refused to get in the tub. "I want Lella," he insisted. "Lella too."

So freaking cute.

In the not too distant future, they will no longer be able to bathe together because it's just not done once boys and girls get past a certain age. What is that age? I would imagine 4 is pushing it.

I'm going to call the people at ExcellusBlue and ask them for advice on this matter. Because, from what I can tell by their excellent informational video, they totally get it.


MGBR said...

This is partly why, when good-humored acquaintances see my larger-than-average pregnant belly and ask, "Are you sure there isn't more than one in there?" I do not laugh. Not even a chuckle.

Holly said...

And why I, when any woman tells me she's always wanted twins, slap said woman across the face and suggest to her that she gets her head screwed on straight.

But seriously, they are a blessing. Really.