Tuesday, September 6, 2011

The Toothless Miser

Ben lost a tooth today. It was so gross. There was blood all over. He lacks those two front teeth, the ones so many children covet at Christmas-time. The gaping hole in his mouth doesn’t seem to bother him, however. He had other things on his mind, like how much his tooth was really worth.

“I’ve heard of kids getting $5 for their teeth,” he said.

“I’ve never heard that,” I responded.

“But I washed my tooth and it’s very white.”

“What are you saying?”

”I’m saying that you should call the tooth fairy’s boss for me.”

I may have called the tooth fairy’s regional manager once to complain about lack of service here on our street. The tooth fairy had an appalling habit of arriving late to our house.

The regional manager was quite apologetic. She even had the tooth fairy call to tell Ben she had been suffering from flying sickness and was very sorry for her tardiness.

“You really think your tooth is worth more than other kids’ teeth?” Ben nodded his head fervently. “Why?”

“Because it’s so cute. Look at it.”

Good grief.


Tabitha St. Denis said...

Hilarious Holly!
that's your name today.
luv tab

hokgardner said...

My big girls leave notes with questions for the Tooth Fairy, and they expect answers to their questions. And if the Tooth Fairy gets her stories mixed up, katy bar the door, it's bad.

And then there was the time Ella lost a tooth at a sleep-over, and the parents told her that if she set out a glass of water next to the bed, the TF would dip her wings in it and the water would change color. It's been two years and we still have that *@*#&(*&$ jar of colored water.

Miss Megan said...

HA! That is incredibly funny! He's got a good rationale and everything...yikes!
When did it go up to $5?! Or I guess, what is the going rate? It's been IDK, 20 years since I got paid for a tooth, and the going rate then was a buck. Factoring for inflation, it should be what, $2.75? LOL!