Round Brush

Ella likes to brush my hair, and I let her.  I’d let anyone brush my hair.  If a strange man approached me on the street and offered to brush my hair, I’d seriously consider it. 

I’m really just writing this post as a warning.  I’m full of warnings this week: warnings against Ambien, and now warnings against allowing your child to brush your hair with a round hairbrush.  You probably would NEVER allow your child to brush your hair with a round hairbrush, but I, so delighted by the prospect of getting my hair brushed at all, chose to ignore the cylindrical shape.  Never ignore the cylindrical shape. 

Ella got the brush stuck in my hair, right near the top of my head.  She was initially unconcerned.

“I get it out,” she said, as she yanked on my head.  It really hurt.

“Don’t worry, I’ll get it out,”  I said.  I spent a good ten minutes and it wouldn’t budge.  This was especially a problem because Caleb’s very first band concert was in one hour.  I called John.

“Are you on your way home?”

“I’m just leaving.  Why?”

“Well, hurry up.  I need your help.  I have a round brush stuck in my hair.”

“You have a what?”

“A round brush stuck in my hair.  Ella did it.”

“What?”

“A round.  Brush. Stuck.  In. My.  Hair.  What about this is so hard to understand?”

“Go to the doctor,” Ella suggested.  I called my hairdresser.

“I just wanted to give you the heads up in case you have to surgically remove it,” I said. 

“You have to admit this is sort of comical,” she replied.  I would admit no such thing.

I headed upstairs to get my spray-in conditioner.  I bumped into Caleb.

“Caleb, I have bad news.  I have a brush stuck in my hair.”  I showed him the back of my head.  He looked very upset.

“Are you going to go to my concert like that?”

I promised him I would skip the concert if said brush would not come out of my head.  He seemed relieved.  I sat on my bed and slowly, one strand at a time, extricated the thing from my rather long hair.  I called my hairdresser friend back.  I think she was a tiny bit disappointed that I wouldn’t be getting a new short haircut.

Ella was so relieved.

We all went to the concert, where Caleb and the one other baritone rocked out to “Skip to the Lou.”  It was awesome.

This story has a happy ending; however,  I urge you to never allow your five-year old to brush your hair with a round brush, no matter how relaxing it feels.  Your story may end terribly, like with a buzz cut.  And I assure you, your ten-year old does not want you to attend his very first band concert with a buzz cut.