This past week, I have spent an inordinate amount of time in lines, and have been pleasantly surprised by my fellow humans' chipper attitude this Christmas season. People have looked at me and said, "Oh honey, you only have one thing. You go before me!" What trickery is this? I thought. No trickery! People were just being merry and bright.
At one store, I went through the relatively short line to discover I had forgotten to purchase batteries. So I bravely went back in, fetched the AAs, and got back into the same line. As I was checking out, the cashier asked me,
"Would you like to donate to Foodlink today?"
"Oh, I was just in line. Remember? I already donated."
She stared at me blankly.
"So, no then?" she said. I sighed.
"Yes. Yes. I'll donate."
This is why we're ridiculously over Christmas budget this year. That, and the Hot Wheels Car Maker.
The Hot Wheels Car Maker is the bane of my existence. It is a machine that allows a child to create his or her own hot wheels vehicles. It looks like this:
The Hot Wheels Car Maker is exclusive to Toys R Us. Which was just a low, low move on Hot Wheels' part.
Daniel's Christmas list went as follows:
1. Hot Wheels Car Maker
2. Nintendo DS
4. Hot Wheels Car Maker
5. I really want a Hot Wheels Car Maker
He wrote to Santa about it and everything. That was before he made this proclamation:
"I don't believe in Santa!"
"Why?" I asked.
"Because, all of the presents I asked Santa for said they came from you. And also, Santa's wrapping paper is the same as YOUR wrapping paper."
This is because while I enjoy my children believing in the magic of St. Nick, I also want to take most of the credit for the gifts. It's also because I'm lazy.
Then, Daniel announced that he DID believe, and that Santa would definitely bring him the Hot Wheels Car Maker. Noah from his class told him so.
Unfortunately, I'd already made several trips to Toys R Us only to be laughed out of the store, because apparently, they ran out of the thing weeks ago. Did you know there are actually cruel people in this world who go to stores, buy up hot Christmas items, and then sell them for a premium online? Probably people like Noah from Daniel's classroom. I thought that kind of thing only happened on television shows.
The Hot Wheels Car Maker retails for 34.99 when purchased at Toys R. Us.
Yesterday, I paid 99.99 for it from a seller on Amazon. When I told the husband, he had a minor stroke and contemplated selling my hair for money. I said, not until you sell your fancy watch, buster. And he said, I'm not the one who paid 99.99 for a toy that will probably break within the first twenty four hours.
So now I'm bald.
But the Car Maker is in transit right now. Santa's reindeer will bring it on Christmas Eve.
And Daniel will believe one year more.