Personal Private Space

I think the thing I don’t like about dogs is that they don’t respect your personal space. I’m very big on personal space. I mean, I love a good hug. If I haven’t seen you in a few months, I’ll happily give you a squeeze and a peck on the cheek. But if we’ve just seen each other three days ago, we don’t need to embrace. If we’ve just seen each other five minutes ago, we don’t need to jump on each other and lick each other and pant like we’re going to die.

Do you know how hard it is to read a book with a lap full of bull mastiff? Or how annoying it is to try and eat breakfast while an Australian Shepherd sniffs your crotch?

Blatant invasions of personal space.

We are currently dog-sitting a friend’s bull mastiff, who is the sweetest thing on the face of the planet and oh so droopy and velvety, but who has absolutely no regard for my sleeping habits or my aversion to diarrhea on the floor. Today, we left both dogs home while we went to my in-laws for dinner, and I have to say, I was relishing being away from them for a bit. In the car, it felt good to have my four needy children strapped into their seats. No one putting their grubby fingers on my face. No one sticking their snout on my lap. No one pulling on my hair. When we arrived, my in-laws’ black lab jumped on me and later slobbered all over my jeans. Which, you know, was fine. It gave Kiah a good reason to glom onto my leg for five minutes while I was trying to get everyone in the door.

Sometimes I wonder if my kids would have been just as happy with a smaller pet, one that respects my personal private space- say, a newt.

These past two months, my freelance writing venture seems to have taken off like a stampede of wild horses. I’ve had to turn down several potential clients. It’s been a whirlwind, and wholly encouraging, but it’s also led to a whole “how in the world do moms work from home when they have twins who don’t take naps (one who has serious developmental delays), a dog who probably has canine attention deficit disorder and also laundry that probably has laundry attention deficit disorder and that mates and reproduces frequently in various hampers around the house?” conundrum.

If anyone has an answer to this question, let me know.

Maybe it cannot be done.

Maybe it will have to wait a little while.

At least until the bull mastiff goes home.