There's a stack of papers a foot high I've been weeding through- my kids school folders threw up all over my floor. I think we should reinstitute the slate tablet in schools. A lot less paper waste. Most of what my kids lug home is garbage, with intermittent notes to remind me to send in a permission slip or a special snack or some extra glue sticks. Glue sticks are an integral part of the first-grade experience.
This is one of many reasons I haven't been blogging.
If I may be honest, I've kind of checked out of life for the past month or so. I emerge from the hovel I live in to deliver kids to school, to stock up on basic necessities, and... that's about it. I've been ignoring phone calls, e-mails, get-togethers of most types and text messages. The ignoring of text messages is not purposeful; I have a new phone, and I'm not actually sure how to access text messages. It's a very complicated device. When I finally learn how to use it, I will essentially have a medical license and an engineering degree. I will build myself a skyscraper where I will perform brain surgeries, thanks to this phone.
Instead of being a responsible adult, I have been either a) sleeping or b) watching the movie Paul on HBO. That's about it. John has been so pleased.
Two days ago, I lifted papers from atop the answering machine (I prefer the old-fashioned answering machine to voice mail. I tried voice mail for a while. I found it tedious.) The machine had been blinking red for weeks. With great trepidation, I pressed "play." The thing spoke to me.
"You have 78 messages," it said.
"Holy Toledo," I said.
"What's a Toledo?" Dan asked.
"It's a city in Ohio," I said.
"Can you eat it?" Dan asked.
I ended the conversation there. It wasn't going anywhere.
I was, however, incredibly impressed by my answering machine's storage capacity. Sometimes, a phrase like "You have 78 messages" is just the thing one needs to hear to check back into life. Also, I think my new meds are kicking in. There has been a lot less sleeping and a lot more vacuuming of dog hair from the furniture.
Today, I may even venture to Rite Aid to buy some glue sticks. Heck, I might start blogging again.
You never know.