We went to the beach today.
What a hassle. There’s the gathering of the beach supplies, the slathering on of sunscreen, and the horrific mistake of accidentally viewing oneself in front of the mirror in one's bathing suit. (I admit that this trip to Hamlin was in part a testing of the proverbial waters to see how people would respond to me in a bathing suit while on cruise. No one seemed to notice me or care… and there were actually a lot of mommies with, um, flab, who were wearing THEIR bathing suits too.)
We generally had a good time. Since Ella can sit and play for hours upon hours in the sandbox in our backyard, I figured that the beach would be like a fantasy gone wild for her. I imagined that I would lounge on the beach blanket reading a magazine while she played happily next to me in the sand.
I could not have predicted that her preferred beach activity would be to throw little pebbles into the water or at people and that all attempts to get her to stop would fail.
I should have predicted that she would wander off any chance she got in order to join other groups of individuals who were immersed in their own beach activities. She invaded a family sand castle-making party. She plopped herself right next to the daddy and threw sand into their castle's moat.
She joined up with a group of pre-teen boys who were burying themselves in the sand. This activity appealed to her. She “helped” them by, what else, throwing sand on them. She found ways and reasons to throw sand that seriously made me question what I thought was a lack of intelligence in this unique little two-year old.
When I spend time with Ella in a public place, I often end up feeling somewhat insulted and neglected. Sometimes I think she would like to be a part of any family but ours. I ended up spending a good part of the afternoon chasing her around and prying her from picnics, mothers who were sitting in the sand chatting with one another, and groups of kids who were making various sand creations.
John is a horrible beach companion. I mean, really. If you go to the beach with YOUR FAMILY, is it appropriate to put on your headphones and listen to your iPod?
Caleb and Ben LOVED the water. They swam and splashed and had a jolly good time. I watched from the shoreline and worried about objects I saw in the water. I pulled out a band-aid, much to John’s dismay (OH THE HUMANITY! AND THE DISEASES!) and panicked when I saw a small, dark brown, floater. Turns out it was a small, dark brown piece of driftwood. Good thing. I was about to bail everyone out and run for the dunes. (On the walk out, I did spy a used condom in the sand. Or maybe it wasn’t used. I didn’t inspect. In fact, I’d rather not talk about it at all. It is very disturbing to see such a thing where children tend to frolic.)
Daniel had a few brave moments in the water, but eventually succumbed to Ella’s pebble and sand throwing activities. Except that he picked large pebbles. Some might call them rocks. He may have thrown them at people.
All in all, a generally good trip. I might even call it a success. Ben actually went under water on his own at one point, so yes, definitely a success. And today, I must admit, IIIIIII FEEEEEEL FIIIIIIINE!!!!
What a hassle. There’s the gathering of the beach supplies, the slathering on of sunscreen, and the horrific mistake of accidentally viewing oneself in front of the mirror in one's bathing suit. (I admit that this trip to Hamlin was in part a testing of the proverbial waters to see how people would respond to me in a bathing suit while on cruise. No one seemed to notice me or care… and there were actually a lot of mommies with, um, flab, who were wearing THEIR bathing suits too.)
We generally had a good time. Since Ella can sit and play for hours upon hours in the sandbox in our backyard, I figured that the beach would be like a fantasy gone wild for her. I imagined that I would lounge on the beach blanket reading a magazine while she played happily next to me in the sand.
I could not have predicted that her preferred beach activity would be to throw little pebbles into the water or at people and that all attempts to get her to stop would fail.
I should have predicted that she would wander off any chance she got in order to join other groups of individuals who were immersed in their own beach activities. She invaded a family sand castle-making party. She plopped herself right next to the daddy and threw sand into their castle's moat.
She joined up with a group of pre-teen boys who were burying themselves in the sand. This activity appealed to her. She “helped” them by, what else, throwing sand on them. She found ways and reasons to throw sand that seriously made me question what I thought was a lack of intelligence in this unique little two-year old.
When I spend time with Ella in a public place, I often end up feeling somewhat insulted and neglected. Sometimes I think she would like to be a part of any family but ours. I ended up spending a good part of the afternoon chasing her around and prying her from picnics, mothers who were sitting in the sand chatting with one another, and groups of kids who were making various sand creations.
John is a horrible beach companion. I mean, really. If you go to the beach with YOUR FAMILY, is it appropriate to put on your headphones and listen to your iPod?
Caleb and Ben LOVED the water. They swam and splashed and had a jolly good time. I watched from the shoreline and worried about objects I saw in the water. I pulled out a band-aid, much to John’s dismay (OH THE HUMANITY! AND THE DISEASES!) and panicked when I saw a small, dark brown, floater. Turns out it was a small, dark brown piece of driftwood. Good thing. I was about to bail everyone out and run for the dunes. (On the walk out, I did spy a used condom in the sand. Or maybe it wasn’t used. I didn’t inspect. In fact, I’d rather not talk about it at all. It is very disturbing to see such a thing where children tend to frolic.)
Daniel had a few brave moments in the water, but eventually succumbed to Ella’s pebble and sand throwing activities. Except that he picked large pebbles. Some might call them rocks. He may have thrown them at people.
All in all, a generally good trip. I might even call it a success. Ben actually went under water on his own at one point, so yes, definitely a success. And today, I must admit, IIIIIII FEEEEEEL FIIIIIIINE!!!!
ACK! Caleb's short pockets are hanging out in an indecent fashion!
Daniel is pissy because I told him he can no longer throw rocks at people. Note the hand holding the iPod in the corner....
Daniel is pissy because I told him he can no longer throw rocks at people. Note the hand holding the iPod in the corner.... 
WHAT IS UP WITH THAT???
La la la... I like to throw sand... la la la...
There was this incredibly adorable child there...
NO there aren't any pics of me at the beach! You know by now I suffer from depression, right? Sheesh people!
2 comments:
Hilarious stuff! Keep writing! You're really, really good. I mean it. ('Anybody want a peanut?')
INCONCEIVABLE!!!! :)
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