I have a cell phone now. It’s a pay-as-you-go phone, $19 at Target. I put $25 on it and immediately spent $1.50 sexting my husband.
Holly’s first text to John: sex ha ha ha ha
Actually, my first text to him consisted of one letter: u. I forget what I was trying to write. Probably u r sexy or something. (And that’s about as sexy at my sexting is going to get.) But I couldn’t find the space button and accidentally spent $.50 sending the letter “u.”
Today’s texts brought to you by the letter… U!
I hate chat abbreviations. I still don’t know if lol is lots of laughs or laughing out loud. The problem with chat abbreviations is that there are a limited number of them, and as we continue to communicate mainly through texts, Twitter, and Facebook, our vocabulary becomes diminished. It’s like Newspeak in the novel 1984- a close relation to English but with greatly reduced vocabulary and grammar. I'm being a tad bit overdramatic. Maybe.
Everyone is embracing Newspeak. Even potential world leaders. Have I ever told you how much I don’t like Sarah Palin? She grates on every fiber of my being. This is a person who wants to be a serious contender for president of the United States, yet she QUIT her job as governor of Alaska to… get rich. Not to spend more time with her family, but to travel the U.S. speaking for outrageous sums of money while promoting her book, Going Rogue.
When I published the dust-jacket of my book, which coincidentally has the same title as Palin's, I did NOT quit my job to promote it and get rich. Which makes me a better person than Sarah Palin.
Palin is a Twitterer. Here are a few gems:
“DCs new $50BILLION local govt bailout? The “spending freeze,pay-as-u-go,fiscal restraint” pledge was as believable as O’s a#*-kickin’outrage”
Dr.Laura:don't retreat ... reload! (Steps aside bc her 1st Amend.rights ceased 2exist thx 2activists trying 2silence"isn't American,not fair")
Who hijacked term: 'feminist'? A cackle of rads who want 2 crucify other women w/whom they disagree on a singular issue: it's ironic (& passé).
First of all, I can’t read this gibberish. Second of all, what’s a “cackle of rads?”
Her daughters, Bristol and Willow, are even more pointed as they slam a guy on Facebook for making some rather innocuous comments about the Palin family:
Bristol: You just run your mouth just so you'll get a reaction. You're a typical s**t talker. Talking s**t cause you have nothing else going for. Just like you pretended you didn't know what Dancing With the Stars was.
Willow: Haha your so gay. I have no idea who you are, But what I've seen picutres of, your disgusting... My sister had a kid and is still hot. Tre stfu. Your such a f****t.
Willow is sixteen. I know because I just looked it up. The sixteen year old daughter of a "writer" who is also the former governor of Alaska should know the difference between your and you’re. For that alone her mother should cancel her Facebook account. Not to do so is just bad parenting. I can throw judgment on other mothers because I’m a mom too, which makes me an expert on all things related and pertaining to parenting. And I resent the implication that having a kid makes most “not hot.” I’m sure the stars of 16 and Pregnant would agree with me.
Jon Stewart of The Daily Show tore Palin apart based on the following nonsensical tweet:
Palin: Inexplicable: I recently won in court to stop my book "America by Heart" from being leaked,but US Govt can't stop Wikileaks' treasonous act?
Stewart on Palin’s tweet: "There is the fact that WikiLeaks is in Sweden, and its founder Julian Assange is Australian, so really you can't charge them with treason against America... Because they're not American,"
Finally, in moment where I definitely lol'd, Stewart recalled Abraham Lincoln’s Great Twittersburg Address:
HONEST_ABE: 4 scor & 7 yrs ago: nu nation, all men=!
Now civil war :(. But! Not die in vain. Gr8 task b4 us: Gvt of- by4-ppl not perish frm earth!
Lincoln to Palin. Sigh.
Oldspeak was better.