Yesterday, I was watching Blues Clues. Sort of by myself. I really can’t explain. It was the episode where Steve leaves to go to college and announces that his brother Joe is going to take his place at the house. At the end of the episode, Steve starts saying goodbye to everyone. It was like the final scene in Oz in The Wizard of Oz. “Bye side-table drawer. Bye thinking chair. Bye Mr. Salt. Bye Mr. Pepper. Goodbye Blue,” Joe says, wistfully with a strong hint of melancholy. Then he turns to the screen, “Goodbye friends.”
I start bawling. “Goodbye Steve! You cute little green-shirted man child! Waahhhhhhh!”
It’s definitely the time of the month when I am prone to weeping, if you know what I mean.
Caleb is growing up, and while my crying still visibly upsets the other three, Caleb is very awkward about it. He kind of pats my shoulder and stares at me, with a mixture of wonder and fear, and tells me, “You’re being very weird.”
“I liked Steve,” I blubber. You’d think I was watching Steel Magnolias. The truth is, I never warmed up to Joe. He’s an interloper.
“I’m going to turn this off now,” says Caleb. “You’re too big to be watching this anyway.”
“What do you mean, big? Are you calling me fat?”
Caleb’s eyes grow wide. I assure him I’m just messing with him. But seriously, I say, what did you mean by big?
Caleb goes to his room. I continue folding laundry while watching kids’ television shows. The Wonder Pets is always good for a mood booster. Don’t get me started on that Ming-Ming, though. What a self-absorbed ducking that girl is.
Caleb cautiously ventures down later. I decide to have a heart-to-heart with him.
“Sorry I was crying,” I say. “I was just being silly.”
“It’s okay. You cry a lot. I’m getting used to it.”
“I don’t cry too much.” Caleb listed three recent occasions where I shed a tear or 60,000.
“You cry more than me,” he said, “and I’m a kid!”
“I’ll try to cry less.”
“It’s okay. I understand why you cry.”
"Because you’re a woman. Women cry more than men. That’s why I don’t cry a lot.”
“Why do you think women cry more than men?”
"Because,” whispers Caleb, “you’re emotional. And crazy. Women are crazy.”
I was going to protest, but he’s right. Women are emotional and crazy. Some (ahem) more than others. And my boys are going to have to get used to it. God help us when Ella gets to be a teenager. Talk about crazy.
An interesting interview with the guy who played Steve.