Friday, March 23, 2012

Women Be Crazy

Yesterday, I was watching Blues Clues. Sort of by myself. I really can’t explain. It was the episode where Steve leaves to go to college and announces that his brother Joe is going to take his place at the house. At the end of the episode, Steve starts saying goodbye to everyone. It was like the final scene in Oz in The Wizard of Oz. “Bye side-table drawer. Bye thinking chair. Bye Mr. Salt. Bye Mr. Pepper. Goodbye Blue,” Joe says, wistfully with a strong hint of melancholy. Then he turns to the screen, “Goodbye friends.”

I start bawling. “Goodbye Steve! You cute little green-shirted man child! Waahhhhhhh!”

It’s definitely the time of the month when I am prone to weeping, if you know what I mean.

Caleb is growing up, and while my crying still visibly upsets the other three, Caleb is very awkward about it. He kind of pats my shoulder and stares at me, with a mixture of wonder and fear, and tells me, “You’re being very weird.”

“I liked Steve,” I blubber. You’d think I was watching Steel Magnolias. The truth is, I never warmed up to Joe. He’s an interloper.

“I’m going to turn this off now,” says Caleb. “You’re too big to be watching this anyway.”

“What do you mean, big? Are you calling me fat?”

Caleb’s eyes grow wide. I assure him I’m just messing with him. But seriously, I say, what did you mean by big?

Caleb goes to his room. I continue folding laundry while watching kids’ television shows. The Wonder Pets is always good for a mood booster. Don’t get me started on that Ming-Ming, though. What a self-absorbed ducking that girl is.

Caleb cautiously ventures down later. I decide to have a heart-to-heart with him.

“Sorry I was crying,” I say. “I was just being silly.”

“It’s okay. You cry a lot. I’m getting used to it.”

“I don’t cry too much.” Caleb listed three recent occasions where I shed a tear or 60,000.

“You cry more than me,” he said, “and I’m a kid!”

“I’ll try to cry less.”

“It’s okay. I understand why you cry.”


"Because you’re a woman. Women cry more than men. That’s why I don’t cry a lot.”

“Why do you think women cry more than men?”

"Because,” whispers Caleb, “you’re emotional. And crazy. Women are crazy.”

I was going to protest, but he’s right. Women are emotional and crazy. Some (ahem) more than others. And my boys are going to have to get used to it. God help us when Ella gets to be a teenager. Talk about crazy.

An interesting interview with the guy who played Steve. 


hokgardner said...

Sad but true.

And watch out for your Ella at about age 11. That's how old my Ella and she has done lost her damn mind.

hokgardner said...


That's how old my Ella IS

sarah said...

Made me laugh! Caleb is awesome! I am dreading the day when we have three hormonal females in my home, and probably @ the same time, as college showed me women living close together "get crazy and hormonal " @ the same time. God help Bubba and Isaac. That's what a man cave is for.

Miss Megan said...

Too funny! And so true! He cracks me up!
I was feeling bad that my husband would have to deal with not only me, but his two daughters at the same time, but now that he will have a son too...well...they can bond together against us! And like Sarah said...go hang out in the man cave!
Keep crying momma =).

Toaster said...

Caleb is very mature, but women are NOT crazy--we are just in touch with our emotions. :)

Jessica said...

LOL wow! I can't imagine hearing a child say "Women are crazy"! Did he get that from John ;) And yea it sorta is true lol

Holly said...

@Jessica- no, not John. There's a girl at school who really likes Caleb. He knows she likes him because her friends have told him. However, she expresses her affection by running up to him and hitting him hard on the arm. Hence,, his conclusion: women are crazy.

@Toaster: Wait for my follow-up post, date TBD, Men Be Even Crazier. No sexism here...

Mary (Jennings) Edwards said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mary (Jennings) Edwards said...

That was great - I love Caleb's insights of truth :) He is tender but honest!! Thanks for sharing :) Love you