Jane Austen is rolling over in her grave

John is finally reading one of my favorite books of all time, Pride and Prejudice. You've probably heard of it. I should probably mention that he is enjoying a slightly revised version of the story. The title has been altered to Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. Yes, I'm serious. This is a real book with actual pages, and a popular one too. I know of others who have read it. It truly maintains the essence of the original novel; however, as Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy are toying with one another's affections, they are also fighting off zombies (which are an apparent result of a mysterious plague that has run through England.)

The novel begins: "It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains." I agree. Zombies do seem to love to munch on brains.

The book is complete with illustrations. One depicts the five Bennett daughters at the first ball that takes place in the novel, the very one where Elizabeth FIRST meets Mr. Darcy. You will never believe it but zombies crash the party. Mr. Bennett, who has trained his daughter in the ways of swordsmanship and musketry, calls to his daughters across the ballroom as the zombies invade the premises: "Girls! Pentagram of death!" Each daughter pulls some sort of weapon from her underoos as she forms a pentagram with her sisters. Then they vanquish zombies with cunning expertise.

(I am trying to convince John to have just one more child so we too can have our very own pentagram of death. It's always wise to prepare for a coming zombie apocalypse.)

There are discussion questions at the end of the novel. Here is my favorite:

Is Mr. Collins merely too fat and stupid to notice his wife's gradual transformation into a zombie, or could there be another explanation for his failure to acknowledge the problem? If so, what might that explanation be? How might his occupation (as a pastor) relate to his denial of the obvious, or his decision to hang himself?

I'm not saying I'm amused, I'm just saying that was my favorite question.

As I skimmed through this book, I felt a longing to pull out the real novel, or at least to drool over Colin Firth's portrayal of Mr. Darcy in the A&E film version. I can guarantee someone will make the zombie version into a movie and the chick from Alias will probably portray Elizabeth. She has that dual personality going: prideful (coquettishly adorable and unwilling to admit her affection for Mr. D) and prejudice (against zombies.)

I wouldn't go to the theater to see it, but I might rent it.