Monday, February 6, 2012

It's not a party until...

... your six-year old has diarrhea all over your friend’s bathroom floor.

But that was later in the evening.

Before the diarrhea came the chicken wings.

We begin on Saturday evening, when our family went to eat out at Quaker State and Lube, which is supposed to have the best chicken wings around. Unfortunately, the wings were not up to par. They were overcooked and, for a place that has the word “lube” right there in their name, incredibly dry.

“This is unusual,” John insisted. “They are not up to par.”

“Denny’s wings are better than these,” I said.

Yesterday, we had big Super Bowl plans, and I set our to prove that I could make better chicken wings than the ones that had been served at Quaker State and Lube.  ("They're usually so much better than that," said John.  "They really weren't up to par.")  I was going to follow the traditional Frank’s Red Hot recipe, but John had a better idea. He had read about the “best way to make Buffalo wings” from a guy who writes for Deadspin. I was strongly encouraged to follow said recipe.

The Jamboroo is a weekly Deadspin column written by Drew Magary, whose book The Postmortal I received for Christmas. (Thanks Lisa!) I actually had no idea he was a sports writer, so this was an odd coincidence. Recently, Magary gave 20 rules for having a Super Bowl party, including: You must have a high definition television. Do not mix partisan and nonpartisan guests. Buy a plunger. Mandatory food items: Wings, Nacho Cheese Doritos, Nachos, chips and salsa, chili, guacamole, eight foot long italian sub, cookies, jar of frosting with spoon in it (for me only). Always keep a separate room to stage monkey fights in. Etcetera, etcetera… all very practical suggestions. I would’ve totally have fought him over the jar of frosting with spoon in it. We ignored his no kids rule, however, and found out how very wise he actually was in making these rules. Comes from years of experience, I suppose.

Anyway, the wings. My initial plan had been to use the slow cooker, but the slow cooker was dismissed as “disgusting” and “what are you completely crazy, are you not even from western New York you idiot?” by both a beloved family member and the internet.

I found Magary to be an irreverent chef with a foul mouth. Rachael Ray he is not. Nonetheless, I had great success with his baked chicken wing recipe. Here is a modified version. (I improved it even further- no kidding!):

Buy a club pack of cheapo wings from your local favorite spot to buy club packs. Take (thawed) wings and mix them with olive oil (2-3 TB) and Adobo seasoning ( 2-3 TB; found in the ethnic section, by all the Goya.)

Line a casserole dish with tinfoil, and make sure it is covered with olive oil so the wings don’t stick. You don’t want to lose the skin! You can also line the dish with parchment paper to avoid using extra oil, but the tinfoil makes the wings crispier. Yum.

Bake chicken wings at 400 degrees for 40 minutes, flipping halfway through.
Meanwhile, melt a stick of butter and mix with half of a large bottle of Frank Red Hot, less if you prefer “mild” wings, more if you prefer “hot.”

When wings are done, douse those suckers with the buffalo wing sauce. Stick them back in the oven for another 20-30 minutes, reducing heat to 300 degrees. This allows the sauce to really bake into the wings. You will have plenty of sauce left over for dipping.

Serve with blue cheese dressing and celery. Impress friends and family. Become referred to by all as “the wing lady.”

Ben possibly ate too much junk food. While my girlfriends and I were doing our Superbowl thing, i.e. playing Rummikub and deciding that Madonna looked like person whose chiropractor had told her to take it easy that night, Ben was sampling the chicken wings, the éclair cake, the chips and dip, cheese balls, cupcakes, cookies, etc. Hence, the diarrhea on my poor friend’s bathroom floor.

We took the kids home after that incidence, right before the end of the third period. The three boys were determined to stay awake to see whether or not Tom Brady would fail and take his anger out on his model girlfriend.  2/3rds didn't make it:

Caleb is glad to see the Giants win. 
Today's song is, of course, from Queen.  Sorry Patriots fans. 

I've heard this song dozens of times in my lifetime, but I've never seen  this video.  Holy cow, what is he wearing.  It's audacious, even for a gay man. And there are an alarming number of men without shirts on in the audience. 


Kim said...

I always look forward to your posts.

I agree with your opinion of Madonna's performance, but I'm glad I saw it. I now have a renewed confidence while doing Zumba because no matter how ridiculous I look, I look at least as graceful as Madonna in 4-inch heels walking on bleachers.

Also, no Monday that starts with Queen is a bad Monday. Thanks for a great start to the week! :-)

hokgardner said...

Madge didn't look up to her usual speed. And I'm a fan of hers.

We didn't watch the super bowl, nor did we eat chicken wings.

The kids had a dance party in the bedroom while Brandon and I watched and AbFab marathon.

Still a good day.

Jessica said...

Sounds like it was quite a night! Glad to hear that at least it was a child with the bathroom issues on the floor and not an adult ;)

Miss Megan said...

Impressive with the wings! I will have to try husband would crown me "the coolest wife ever" if I actually made wings for a Super Bowl Party. We actually throw the super bowl party at our place for our friends, and it always involves food in at least two crock pots. But, I'm from Nebraska, so I guess that's acceptable.
Eek with the diarrhea all over your friends bathroom floor! Hopefully she has kids too so could understand such an incidence? Good call on leaving after though...I'd have been out too!

Holly said...

I'm kind of a closet Madonna lover, myself. I was excited she sang "Vogue," and my all-time fave, "Like a Prayer."

Heather, what on earth is AbFab??

My friend is the best friend I will ever have, and she would've cleaned up the entire bathroom and not told me how gross it was if I hadn't walked in. I am blessed beyond measure to know her. (I hope she reads this!)

And we take our wings VERY seriously here in western New York. If you try the recipe, let me know how it goes for you.

My name is Heather. said...

i like that you said 3rd period...when it's 3rd quarter. you are obviously a HUGE football fan :o) sorry about the accident with ben. hope he's feeling better!

Holly said...

I. Am. So. Embarrassed. But I'm not even going to edit it.

Janet said...

You are so sweet! Thank you for the kind words! I'm so very blessed to call you friend! Last night was so fun! I just wish it didn't have to end so quickly! And as far as the poop is concerned...I've been cleaning up poop for 18 years now - so no big deal at all! I felt so bad for poor little Ben! Hope he's feeling better today!

Love you, my dear friend!